Why it takes a village

I'm thinking about how a service like Alder Garden has come about during this point in our society. Playing games, working on creative projects and just being social; aren't these the privileges of family and friends? Indeed they are. But, it seems that we have created a world that has compartmentalized the priority of such past times and the ones in which we do them with.

For instance, many families only get together during the holidays. A time when there is a lot to get done and so much expectation of how things are supposed to go, that there is often too little time to just relax and "be" with those you love. Also, holidays tend to focus on the young. Most people express such joy in seeing the kids' excitement at these gatherings. There would have to be a major shift in thinking if people were to start focusing on the older ones during those celebrations. Besides, the kind of stimulation and involvement that an aging brain needs should be done on a regular basis, not confined to the holidays.

One older gentleman, when we spoke of the Alder Garden experience, said "those are the kind of things I'd like to do with my kids. But, they don't have the time for that. They are too busy". And so it goes. Younger ones are busy. Education, careers, new babies, teenagers, PTA, sports, shopping, commuting, social lives, recreation, house work, yard work, doctors visits, the gym......... The list goes on. It's not that they don't have the desire to spend some time on a regular basis with their older loved ones. It's that they don't have the time. Life simply doesn't slow down enough. Until we reach a certain age of course.

In the list above, special mention has to be made to the fact that younger generations need to focus so many hours in a week on making a living and saving for big purchases & retirement. In her thoughtful book The art of growing old, Marie de Hennezel states it plainly. "The Baby Boomers benefited from the post world war economic upturn in a way that subsequent generations could only dream of." But, instead of dreaming, these generations are scurrying to make ends meet, hoping they can maintain affordable housing and wondering if there is any chance of having a retirement income. Sure, the internet and all its bells & whistles has created new economies. But technology has also crashed at least once, along with the housing market and the labor force. Big set backs that take even more of our time and energy.

Sometimes the difference between hiring a community member to stimulate the creative, social and cognitive well-being vs. relying on family members is that often family members are too enmeshed with each other. We know too much. It's almost like a business relationship where we rely on the other to show up and make sure things get done. There isn't time to just be. To relax into a creative project or get challenged by a board game. When we invite someone from outside of the family, they are not going to come with any history. It's a new adventure. A re-birth of the spirit can happen.

On that note, an Alder Garden companion is the perfect person to help you tell your unique story. In a way that your family will listen and really see the story for everything it is. The story will be fresh and compelling to the companion, seeing it with new eyes and allowing it to blossom in your own personal garden. This newness can easily translate to a variety of mediums in which you can share with your family.

On a final note about reaching out to a village of people to attain strong mental & creative well-being. There is something to be said for having a new, intriguing friend outside of the family. This gives the family elder someone new to mention in their conversations with family. Something different to share. It's easy to get into cycles of conversation, sometimes bordering on gossip about family members. And of course, we often see the ways things should be done differently. It can be contentious. But, this new friend, with their purposeful attention towards creative and cognitive health is going to help break us out of those cycles. It's invigorating to have a new, exciting friend in our life. Especially if that friend helps us produce tangible items to share. When visualizing Alder Garden I thought of a scenario where an Alder Garden Companion works with a client to produce a slideshow of family photos taken over the span of that families life. The client brings this slideshow, complete with meaningful music, to the family reunion. It blows everyone away. A younger member the family returns to college and says to a friend "my Grandparents, of all people, had the coolest slideshow at the family reunion this year. It was amazing! We all wanted copies."

These are the kind of legacy moments we want to facilitate with Alder Garden. We are a part of your village.